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I can’t wait for the day that I can go at least one night without having a nightmare

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"I did not end us
to move on to
something better,

I did it to save you
from what you were
getting yourself into."

Noor Shirazie (via aestheticintrovert)

Quote
"

In this dream I had
I met you in a secret place

We ventured through the woods and
you gave me the grand tour accompanied by
gnarled tree branches and dampened soil

It was wintertime and we could see our breath
like ghosts escaping our throats

I followed your footsteps as if
I was your own shadow

Snowflakes fell to the ground like icy tears

When we reached the bridge
I turned my back
in awe of the dusting of white
that covered the expanse of the area

You whispered in my ear, “Now this is the time I die.”

I remember lazily flinging my body
into the icy waters after you

I churned through the slush
trying to reach you and
the water was so frigid that it burned my skin

I grabbed you by your shirt collar
and dragged your limp body to shore
I shook you while simultaneously screaming
“Why did you do that? How could you be so stupid?”

I remember laying my head in my hands and sobbing

I think I will always try to save you…

"

— Alexis H.,  Our secret place in my nightmares  (via lostsoulstravelhere)

(via lostsoulstravelhere)

Quote
"

In this dream I had
I met you in a secret place

We ventured through the woods and
you gave me the grand tour accompanied by
gnarled tree branches and dampened soil

It was wintertime and we could see our breath
like ghosts escaping our throats

I followed your footsteps as if
I was your own shadow

Snowflakes fell to the ground like icy tears

When we reached the bridge
I turned my back
in awe of the dusting of white
that covered the expanse of the area

You whispered in my ear, “Now this is the time I die.”

I remember lazily flinging my body
into the icy waters after you

I churned through the slush
trying to reach you and
the water was so frigid that it burned my skin

I grabbed you by your shirt collar
and dragged your limp body to shore
I shook you while simultaneously screaming
“Why did you do that? How could you be so stupid?”

I remember laying my head in my hands and sobbing

I think I will always try to save you…

"

— Alexis H.,  Our secret place in my nightmares  (via lostsoulstravelhere)

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Anonymous said: Are you on any other social media sites besides tumblr?

yup! 

you can find me on snapchat: Lil_lexis 

twitter: alexis_hogan

instagram: Lil_lexis 

also match.com

(totally kidding about the last one) (or am I?) (yes, I am actually because I don’t have money for that shit) 

Photo
Face update: I think I probably still look the same idk

Face update: I think I probably still look the same idk

Quote
"

In this dream I had
I met you in a secret place

We ventured through the woods and
you gave me the grand tour accompanied by
gnarled tree branches and dampened soil

It was wintertime and we could see our breath
like ghosts escaping our throats

I followed your footsteps as if
I was your own shadow

Snowflakes fell to the ground like icy tears

When we reached the bridge
I turned my back
in awe of the dusting of white
that covered the expanse of the area

You whispered in my ear, “Now this is the time I die.”

I remember lazily flinging my body
into the icy waters after you

I churned through the slush
trying to reach you and
the water was so frigid that it burned my skin

I grabbed you by your shirt collar
and dragged your limp body to shore
I shook you while simultaneously screaming
“Why did you do that? How could you be so stupid?”

I remember laying my head in my hands and sobbing

I think I will always try to save you…

"

— Alexis H.,  Our secret place in my nightmares 

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"

I cringe at the words
‘I love you’
and flinch at the touch of others’ hands

My eyes stay fixated on the ground
and when I speak my voice shakes
while my soul shivers
looking for a place to run and hide

when I pass the road of my old house
my stomach knots up
and flashbacks of the horrors
that partook in those now hollow walls
flood my brain and sting my heart

My flesh still aches to be ripped open
but I think I’m afraid that if I
let it all out
I will be left more empty than before

"

— Alexis H., Every day 

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If you look at the shadow of me, it looks like there’s a tall man standing next to me.

If you look at the shadow of me, it looks like there’s a tall man standing next to me.

Quote
"

August gives a burning
goodbye kiss against the cooling chill
of September winds

Their forces linger
not wanting to leave
not wanting to miss each other
for another year

When the August sun makes its departure
the trees lose their leaves like flecks of hope
and we step along the skeletons of the past
feeling their shells crunch beneath our toes

Another night of shivering in the sheets
and significant others who would provide
the extra heat we need so
that we can feel alive again

The sidewalks crack like our lips
that used to be lubricated with love and
now have split open like the hearts and souls
of every person missing their someone

And winter hasn’t come yet
but it’s snowing on the inside and
icicles hang from our rib cages
like Christmas morning


And while some find beauty in the
glistening ice that lines our bones
they break off and their
pointed dagger shards stab our insides
and we cringe and
we bleed and
we pray that
our sunshine finds us soon

"

— Alexis H., It is getting colder without you  (via lostsoulstravelhere)