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"The wind is just the earth taking a sigh of relief"

— Alexis H., windy days

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You are stitched together
With good intentions
But you are bursting at the seams

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"

The wind whispers through the willows

And the sea scrambles to reach the shore

The clouds, cumulonimbus, caress the atmosphere

Yet it is still you I adore

"

— Alexis H., you

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"You made a mess of me"

— Alexis H., six word story

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"

I forgot to mention
that my heart was made out of gunpowder

And you forgot to mention
Your fingertips were made of flames

One touch and I ignited

"

— Alexis H., forgetful

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"Tell me what your diagnosis is."

— Alexis H., conversing on mental illness

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"

At 17 years old
My father sexualized me
And I no longer felt the loving comfort
That a daughter should feel

A year later
And it still stings
As if the wound were fresh

At graduation
I will get to look around at all of the families
Sitting happily together
Watching their children walk across the stage
Light glistening in their eyes
As tears leave wet and shiny streaks
Down their faces
They will hold hands
Proud of their accomplishments

Later on, they will hug and kiss
Their now grown-up babies

And fathers will say
“I am proud of you baby girl.”
The daughters will smile
Their big-toothed smiles
And I will stand alone
Hoping my father doesn’t show up
And say those words
For they will sting like
A thousand knives
All entering my chest at once

Tears will stream down my face
Not because of joy
But because of the pain and disgust
That resides within me

Years later
As I walk down the aisle
All dressed in white
I don’t know who will be the man
That will give me away
It will not be my father
For he lost his right to call me his own
And will never gain that back
Forgiveness doesn’t live here
Anymore

"

— Alexis H., Bitter

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"It’s just agonizing, because if I could choose anyone in the world— anyone in another lifetime— it’d still fucking be you."

— Alexis H., frustrated

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"

i) I am sorry that I am like the sea. I get so close to you one minute, almost flooding your soul, then I recede, taking bits of you with me like grains of sand. Some days you will get no rise out of me— like a waveless ocean, and other days I will be raging out of control like a hurricane.

ii) you always reminded me of the campfires we used to spend our nights beside. You were made out of flames and when we were passionately intertwining under a blanket of stars, I swear my soul combusted. You started a wildfire inside of me.

iii) I hate to say that wildfire has now dwindled. All that is left are embers of what used to be. It is enough to keep me warm throughout these cold nights without you.

iv) I have been thinking of you a lot lately. We’re both almost done with our last year of high school and will be moving on to the next story of our lives. I wonder if you’ll rip out the chapter of this story that was written about us.

v) where are you going to end up for college? If I see you around campus I may just lose it. It has been five months since I’ve last seen your face— I wonder if I’ll even recognize it. I wonder if my heart will race or if I won’t feel a thing. I can’t decide which one is worse.

vi) I still have to remind myself every day that I don’t need you. It’s hard to come to an agreement with my mind, when my heart and soul have got it beat two against one.

"

— Alexis H., Texts I Never Sent You (pt.2)

(Source: lostsoulstravelhere)

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"

i) I am sorry that I am like the sea. I get so close to you one minute, almost flooding your soul, then I recede, taking bits of you with me like grains of sand. Some days you will get no rise out of me— like a waveless ocean, and other days I will be raging out of control like a hurricane.

ii) you always reminded me of the campfires we used to spend our nights beside. You were made out of flames and when we were passionately intertwining under a blanket of stars, I swear my soul combusted. You started a wildfire inside of me.

iii) I hate to say that wildfire has now dwindled. All that is left are embers of what used to be. It is enough to keep me warm throughout these cold nights without you.

iv) I have been thinking of you a lot lately. We’re both almost done with our last year of high school and will be moving on to the next story of our lives. I wonder if you’ll rip out the chapter of this story that was written about us.

v) where are you going to end up for college? If I see you around campus I may just lose it. It has been five months since I’ve last seen your face— I wonder if I’ll even recognize it. I wonder if my heart will race or if I won’t feel a thing. I can’t decide which one is worse.

vi) I still have to remind myself every day that I don’t need you. It’s hard to come to an agreement with my mind, when my heart and soul have got it beat two against one.

"

— Alexis H., Texts I Never Sent You (pt.2)