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Sorry for the hiatus, everyone :(

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"

I am tired of holding on to everyone’s sadness

The weight of sorrow accumulates
heavily on the heart and then solidifies
remaining there like dried concrete
until cracks form
showing that my light can still shine

The heart is only the size of a fist
and I’ve got tiny hands
incapable of holding all of my sadness
and his
and hers
and yours

I am looking for a place to
put it all down but
all others’ hearts have
illuminated their “no vacancy” signs

And you wonder how I could love
with a heart made of shards of glass
and I’m telling you that just because it’s broken
does not mean that it doesn’t work

And just because I love you
differently than I once did
doesn’t mean that I don’t love you at all

"

— Alexis H., it’s different not non-existent

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"

Talking about it isn’t going to fix anything

You know what it’s like to 
hold the key to happiness 
and watch life take it right 
from your hands 
swallowing it whole; 
a disappearing act

I know that others’ hands feel 
like sandpaper across your skin
and you fight yourself more than 
anyone else you’ve encountered

How would you ever know
the touch of a loving hand when
all you’ve felt from the world was a body full of bruises?

And how would you know
what whole is
when all you’ve known is
broken pieces of glass and
gaping holes inside of your chest?

"

— Alexis H., talking doesn’t heal, only hurts (via lostsoulstravelhere)

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"

Talking about it isn’t going to fix anything

You know what it’s like to 
hold the key to happiness 
and watch life take it right 
from your hands 
swallowing it whole; 
a disappearing act

I know that others’ hands feel 
like sandpaper across your skin
and you fight yourself more than 
anyone else you’ve encountered

How would you ever know
the touch of a loving hand when
all you’ve felt from the world was a body full of bruises?

And how would you know
what whole is
when all you’ve known is
broken pieces of glass and
gaping holes inside of your chest?

"

— Alexis H., talking doesn’t heal, only hurts

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I can’t wait for the day that I can go at least one night without having a nightmare

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"I did not end us
to move on to
something better,

I did it to save you
from what you were
getting yourself into."

Noor Shirazie (via aestheticintrovert)

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"

In this dream I had
I met you in a secret place

We ventured through the woods and
you gave me the grand tour accompanied by
gnarled tree branches and dampened soil

It was wintertime and we could see our breath
like ghosts escaping our throats

I followed your footsteps as if
I was your own shadow

Snowflakes fell to the ground like icy tears

When we reached the bridge
I turned my back
in awe of the dusting of white
that covered the expanse of the area

You whispered in my ear, “Now this is the time I die.”

I remember lazily flinging my body
into the icy waters after you

I churned through the slush
trying to reach you and
the water was so frigid that it burned my skin

I grabbed you by your shirt collar
and dragged your limp body to shore
I shook you while simultaneously screaming
“Why did you do that? How could you be so stupid?”

I remember laying my head in my hands and sobbing

I think I will always try to save you…

"

— Alexis H.,  Our secret place in my nightmares  (via lostsoulstravelhere)

(via lostsoulstravelhere)

Quote
"

In this dream I had
I met you in a secret place

We ventured through the woods and
you gave me the grand tour accompanied by
gnarled tree branches and dampened soil

It was wintertime and we could see our breath
like ghosts escaping our throats

I followed your footsteps as if
I was your own shadow

Snowflakes fell to the ground like icy tears

When we reached the bridge
I turned my back
in awe of the dusting of white
that covered the expanse of the area

You whispered in my ear, “Now this is the time I die.”

I remember lazily flinging my body
into the icy waters after you

I churned through the slush
trying to reach you and
the water was so frigid that it burned my skin

I grabbed you by your shirt collar
and dragged your limp body to shore
I shook you while simultaneously screaming
“Why did you do that? How could you be so stupid?”

I remember laying my head in my hands and sobbing

I think I will always try to save you…

"

— Alexis H.,  Our secret place in my nightmares  (via lostsoulstravelhere)

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Anonymous said: Are you on any other social media sites besides tumblr?

yup! 

you can find me on snapchat: Lil_lexis 

twitter: alexis_hogan

instagram: Lil_lexis 

also match.com

(totally kidding about the last one) (or am I?) (yes, I am actually because I don’t have money for that shit) 

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Face update: I think I probably still look the same idk

Face update: I think I probably still look the same idk